Thursday, January 12, 2012

I have a bone to pick with you, 2011.

I celebrated the year out with a good riddance, let's not look back. But, something has been bothering me and quite frankly I just need to get it off my chest. I guess that's just how I work. I can't move on until I talk about it.

As you all know by now... I err to the negative side and I have been working at staying positive. But just this one time, I really just need to be allowed to wallow in the valley of despair. Cry, whine, pout and have myself a 2 minute pity party.

2011 sucked. Seriously... do you know how many people I know who feel the same way!?

Let's count the ways...

In April, Hubby ruptured his Distal Bicep. He had surgery and the recovery was 4 months! His right arm was out of order! (Keeping in mind, this man needs his arms in order to work!)

In June we were notified that our 16 month wait on the Imagine wait list was all for nothing and that MOT conveniently claimed that this list did not exist. Well it did exist - I was on it #60 - for 16 months. So, we had to start all over again and find another program.

In July, my Step Grandfather passed away.

In the summer, we had 2 different people back out of the sale of one our companies twice at the last moment. Economy is still rocky and people are hesitant.

Owners of the lot next to ours, decide to have a divorce fire sale on their property, decreasing the value by $70K!! - totally destroying our adoption plan B for funding.

In August, realizing this would be our only opportunity for a family vacation in 2011 - we decided to drive to Seattle and spend a long weekend there. Something I have wanted to do forever. 8 hours into our vacation, we had to abort and head for an emergency room in Canada, effectively ruining our vacation. We also lost the cost of our hotel booking, in addition to a suitcase of stuff that we had to leave at the hotel and zoo tickets that were prepaid.

In September, I was diagnosed with the worst sinus infection the emergency room Dr. has ever seen. 3 weeks of antibiotics to get rid of most of the infection. I say most... as I still haven't gotten rid of it, it continues to plague me to this day.

In November my Mom was diagnosed with Emphysema.

In December, our beloved dog (first child) was diagnosed with an aggressive bone cancer. I cried for days.

December as we headed out to have my family's side of Christmas, my tire was destroyed from a screw, which meant we had to buy 2 new tires. We no sooner got it back from the shop, and the alternator went (!!), which meant, you guessed it - a new alternator. It delayed our trip half a day (and perhaps was a sign not to go!!?)... but we made the 8 hour drive.

We no sooner got our bags unpacked, and settled in and we got the phone call on the 17th that Hubby's Mom passed away. Naturally, Hubby was devastated.

On the day after his Mom's funeral, we had to take his Dad in to get a double blood transfusion. Find out he's bleeding internally and is anemic.

On the 25th, the wonderful evening caretaker at Hubby's parents Senior complex passed away suddenly during his night shift of a heart attack. Completely unexpected.

On the 29th, after days of struggling with the horrendous decision... we finally put Mikha down. I still haven't gotten over that.

And then to top it all off, some money that we were expecting to come in to help with our adoption costs did not. (Plan A) (Details I can't share here... but it has left me with feelings of sadness, anger and betrayal. Feelings that are not going to be easy overcome.)

Coming in to the new year... Dan's Dad is really not well, has been diagnosed with a number things and still has the internal bleeding. We have been busy taking him to out of town appointments and tests... with so much more to come. He will likely require surgery, but sadly, it's his struggle to breathe that currently is most concerning. (Interstitial lung disease.)

Also coming in to the new year, is the realization that hubby is going to need surgery (again) on his shoulder that was also damaged during his mishap in April last year... which will likely put him out of commission for another long stint.

Last night in the shower (my thinking place),  I called Hubby in to ask him what positive things happened in 2011( in my effort to see the positive light) . He stammered, and then said... "...well, the kids had fun and did some good things."

"Like what?"

"...Uh, like gymnastics, hockey... and what not."

Ha! Pathetic answer... and confirms it. You know it was bad, when he can't even come up with anything!

I know.. it could have been worse, and I know we are so fortunate in so many ways. Believe me, I know how blessed we are. But seriously, I am hoping and praying that 2012 is not as hard on us. Good health and a plan C for adoption funding is all I am asking for.

Thanks for allowing me to whine and snivel. I'm over it now... and moving forward. sucked.


Anonymous said...

Hi Jo,

I hear you. Hang in there! I feel the same way about 2008 & 2009 - among many other difficult things, in 2008 my mom was not speaking to me for 6 weeks, and in 2009 we opened our hearts & home to 2 youths (friends of family) who ended up trying to take action against us, we had to kick them out, and they still owe us $2500. Some years just suck!

I have been following your blog since about June 2011. My husband and I are looking into a Kenya adoption, that's how I discovered Thompson Treehouse. We are also with Sunrise (currently live in Calgary, moving to Vancouver Island in March). I have so enjoyed your blog - sometimes entertaining, sometimes funny, sometimes moving, and the best source of info on the web for Canadians considering a Kenya adoption. BTW, this is the very first time I have ever commented on a blog! and I just joined the yahoo group for kenya adoption.

Finally, and most importantly, I don't think you have a tendency to be negative. I think you have strong reactions to stimuli - events, people, information, etc. Your enthusiasm and intense compassion are also ways of strongly reacting, and certainly could not be characterized as negative! In my experience these things are an indicator of a highly sensitive person (which you probably already know!)

Anyway, thanks for your blog. It has meant a lot to me :)


'Jo' said...

Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments Laura!

Your perspective has given me something to think . I wouldn't say I'm highly sensitive... but sensitive may be somewhat accurate, quick to react, or as my social worker calls me - very passionate. I'll have to give this some more I have also been wondering lately what it is that makes us adopting folk so different from the rest of the world. Why is no one else moved the same way we are by the plight of the orphan?

I look forward to seeing you around yahoo! Stay tuned here... as I will be posting an update to the Kenya program process!

Please feel free to email me (should be under my profile)... and please don't hesitate to make more comments! ;)

Denise said...

Wow, I thought our year was hard, but you topped it, sadly. A good friend of mine taught me an important lesson when she grieved her daughter ever becoming healthy enough to go outdoors and join the family in the fun things they like to do... she threw a one night only pity party... and then had to let it go and move on. Easier said than done, but I think this was important to get off your chest. Hoping for a much better 2012!

'Jo' said...

Thanks Denise... it certainly was therapeutic! I feel SO much better!

Sarah said...

So sorry that 2011 was such a tough year for your family - fingers crossed that 2012 will be better!

I have to say that photo at the end is totally awesome and very appropriate :)

Sylvie and Victor said...

My god! You have every right to complain about 2011. You guys had a lot to deal with. It feels so good to get things like this off your chest. Don’t worry, you are not alone... we are all here reading away and supporting you. Hang in there...I’m sure 2012 will be your year to shine!!!

'Jo' said...

Thank you Sarah and Sylvie! ;)

Jess said...

I will echo what others have said, your year was rough, no getting around that. Actually when I read through the list all chronological like that it was a tad bit surreal. I wish I had something super wise to say, but I think your family has already found it- still looking for the good and positive things amid all the crap. And here's to a much better 2012!

'Jo' said...

Thanks Jess! On a positive note, 2012 doesn't have to work very hard to be better!