October 14th, 2011
To Whom it may Concern,
I would like to submit a formal complaint about our Toothfairy. She is such a scatterbrain and gets waaaayy too much vacation time!
I lost a tooth on Friday and she didn't even show up until Monday! Mom said that she must've gotten the Thanksgiving holiday off.
One time, she didn't show up for my sister's tooth 3 nights in a row! On the fourth night, my sister got a note that read:
"Sorry 'Muffin', I was on holidays in Bermuda. Your tooth looks great! Keep brushing!
Seriously! Holidays in Bermuda!? Obviously she is overpaid.
But that's not all... we have several other complaints to make. Our toothfairy has had 2 non shows because the cat scared her off. How can a 'magical' Toothfairy be scared of a cat?! Clearly, this should have been a job description requirement?
She has also forgotten to actually take our teeth before as well! Not that we cared much, but surely this is causing lost revenue on your end?
One time, she got lost. Can you imagine... a Toothfairy getting lost? Mom said she thought she went to the wrong house... She must have no sense of direction, because in today's worlds of GPS's and cell phones etc... it's all most impossible to get lost!
I think I have more than demonstrated our Toothfairy's inability to effectively do this job. I think it's time that she is demoted. We need a new tooth fairy.
Mommy says that Daddy would look good in wings and could always use the extra money. What do you think?