Discouragement

I read a report last night on the future of adoption from Africa. It was note very encouraging to say the least. The report predicted that in 2011, the amount of placements from Africa will be halved and the amount of parents signing up to the programs will be doubled. My agency's website indicates that adoption will not be possible for all, and some may leave the program empty handed. This is so discouraging. It seems as though the Ethiopia program is hitting road block after road block and recently it was just announced that they would be shutting 45 orphanages and deinstitutionalizing 900 children! Someone posted the following UNICEF job description on the Ethio adopt board that I frequent - http://unjobs.org/vacancies/1295951280038

It is possible that the agency we are on the waiting list for (Imagine), may have some orphanages closing... making the adoption process even more slower than it is now. Basically, if you want a child by the time your 30 - you better sign up when your 12! (I told you before that I tend to exaggerate when I get worked up?)

To make things worse, every other program I consider closes or develops a waitlist that is way beyond a year. I have already been waiting over a year. And in that year - Ethiopia has slowed down so much that my estimated 1 yr wait... will likely be 2 yrs (JUST TO START THE DOSSIER PAPERWORK)... then another year + to get a referral? Rwanda closed, just as I was looking into an independent adoption... and now, I already know what lies ahead for me DRC - by the time our HS is done, the waitlist to submit a dossier will be a year. AND, the country will be so unstable, it will be at risk of closure too.

Am I willing to start this adoption process fully knowing that we might come out empty handed? NO. What is the worst case scenario? US adoption. AND, I only say worst case as a US adoption will not be fulfilling the intention of this adoption. I could conceive right now and have an infant in 9 months. However, the point is not to bring another child into this world, when another could be saved from poverty and dispair. If I don't adopt from the US, that infant will still not dealt a hand of poverty. I believe that (don't hold me to it - more investigative work needed!) every healthy infant in the US is very adoptable... and will be adopted. If I adopt from Africa, it would be a child under the age of 4 - and from the US would be an infant. There are many couples out there with no children that struggle with fertility, would I be taking away their opportunity to have an infant?

Here are some comparables:
US adoption

-Infant
-easier attachment
-higher risk of medical condition
- Many health concerns are not discovered until 18 months
- Risk of exposure to drugs, alcohol and cigarettes
-Maintain a relationship with birth Mother.
-High risk of lost adoption
-Mother changes her mind

Africa

-Toddler
-based on child's experience, attachment may be more difficult.
-Less risk of medical conditions
-child is old enough for any conditions to be apparent
-No risk of exposure to drugs, alcohol and cigarettes
-risk of delays due to malnourishment
-More difficult to maintain a relationship with birth family.
-The African experience, and the connection that will encourage us to re-visit and assist with missionary work etc.

As much as I would loooove to swoon over a newborn - I really don't know if we are prepared mentally to go back and do it all over again. It would be an incredible experience for the children, and Muffin would eat it all up... Something that certainly requires some more thought and inquiry. When your mind has been set on one direction for so long, it's hard to imagine taking another. It would be much easier for me if I could browse a list of birthparents, talk to them and get to know them and perhaps *click*, but really - I think it works the opposite way. *Sigh*