So... what else do I have to do now but just sit and stew while I wait for the verdict that we have been approved?
Worry.... and remember... Remember every damn truth we put in our home study.
Seriously, if you know me well, you know I don't own a secret. No skeletons hiding out in my closet. (Which is a good thing, as there isn't any room!) I own my faults as much as possible, and I'm not afraid to own those of my family as well (to the SW anyway). What you see is what you get... I wear my heart on my sleeve - it's hanging out to dry. So when a social worker asks me a question - leave it to me to answer in brutal honesty, and add 10 other things she probably didn't want to know!
How do you describe yourself, she says to me? How do I answer? Not, "Fun, bright, creative, organized, dedicated, passionate, honest..." etc. Nah, ... I answer with, "Perfectionist, Controlling and Negative." Yep... I did.... and so on and so forth. That's right folks - and if you are an important member in our lives (aka family), chances are she and Kenya now know all your downfalls and skeletons too!
I was telling the truth... and if you dissect this even a little bit - you will notice I did say 'negative'. That being said, I hope that the mighty adoption chiefs over in Kenya, realize that with my negative inclination - the picture is actually much brighter than I painted it. I am a perfectionist, controlling and negative - but those are my negative qualities! I have other, more appealing qualities. Really, I do.
AND, the fact remains that I am not the average 'Jo' here... I didn't lie or beat around any bush during our interviews... I was brutally honest. No embellishments, exaggerations, glossy overview... nada! Who else does that!? (If you did - please make me feel better and tell me you did!!)
So now I got my knickers in a knot thinking that my home study is going to look horrendous compared to any other one they have ever seen! What are the chances that even 50% of home study questions are answered in honesty and then filed in the home study reports honestly?
Fact: If my home study report is the brutal honest truth coming from a negatively inclined person - I AM LOOKING PRETTY DARN GOOD!
Okay, so let's hope they don't even read it... ugg.