Sunday, March 11, 2012

Addressing the 'problem' from a different angle.

Yet again, I was hit again with the 'typical' criticism, "The only problem I have with this (our adoption), is there are so many babies here in Canada who need homes."

My reaction this time was to ask who told him this. Who? Where did he get his information from? I was told the T.V.

Insert my explanation on the realities, the processes, the statistics, ... the facts. Some of which were...

"The Ministry of Children and Family Development has hundreds of children in its care who desperately need homes. They are known as BC's Waiting Children. These children are waiting for adoption for one of several reasons:
  • They are older than 2
  • They are part of a sibling group
  • They were exposed to drugs or alcohol prenatally and have behavioural or learning disabilities
  • They have suffered abuse or neglect
  • They have lived in so many foster homes that they have difficulty attaching to a new family"
Excerpt taken from Sunrise's website. (Please note that I do know the above isn't always the case... it is just the statistic of the majority. I don't want to discourage anyone to adopt from Canada. These children deserve a home just as much as any other child. There have been some wonderful placements and families successfully built from the Ministry's waiting child.)

I didn't get into why it wasn't right for our family, as I soon realized that I wasn't being heard anyway...

However, after stewing on it... I think next time I will answer differently.

We want to adopt a child who needs a family. Does it really matter where that child comes from? Why should I adopt a child from Canada over anywhere else - are Canadian children more deserving?

Wait a second... let's turn this around again. We are adopting to give a child a family! Isn't that amazing!? The world will have one less child to go to bed without parents to tuck them in at night! We will be adding another child to our family...a sister, a daughter, a granddaughter! On that note... where on earth is there any room for any criticism? It's a positive thing... no room for negativity.

Why do people feel they have to find something to be critical about? Why can't they just be happy and encouraged that you want to do something good? What is that all about?

We ended the conversation with ... "You know this a big thing, it will change your life forever (I'm sure he meant in a negative way)..."
I replied with... "Yes, I know... that's the idea. Wouldn't the world be a different place if everyone did one 'big thing' like this, or at least made an effort to assist others in doing a 'big thing'?"


Sarah said...

I love this post! And I hate that comment. My response would be ask how many children they have adopted through the Ministry because clearly they must feel strongly about helping children in Canada who need a home.

Jess said...

Totally agree with Sarah's comment. We get this in the US too, and that was just about verbatim what someone told me to say if I got that: so pleased that it matters to you, what are you doing about it? Amen.

Denise said...

Well said. I find this one a difficult question to answer sometimes. But the truth of the matter is, the children here, as much as they do need families and loving homes - do have food, a bed and can go to school. It isn't ideal by any stretch and I am a huge fan of people who want to adopt locally, but it is a far cry from the children overseas who would literally die from lack of care if there weren't orphanages to take them in (which are usually funded by adoptions). But, yes... when it comes right down to it - I don't think people have a leg to stand on unless they plan on doing something about the thing they have "an issue" with.
And so it begins... the many, many stupid things you hear regarding adoption. Welcome to the club ;)

Anna said...

I agree with the comments above! And also with your comment on all children being equal and not less worthy in any way, if they happened to be born in Africa, Asia or where ever. NONE of us earned to be born in a wealthy part of the world, so we don't have any right to deny it from someone either! Just stay strong with those ignorant remarks, okay! :)

Candice said...

Love your last line.
Keep listening to your big beautiful heart.

'Jo' said...

Thank you gals!! I'd likely go crazy without my online adoption community - like minded women who 'get it'!!

Thank goodness for you all! ;)