Saturday, April 9, 2011

Controversy of breastfeeding your adopted child...

Yes! It is completely possible and many adoptive Mother's do it. Some with the help of drugs, herbs and a lot of pumping! You have a great chance of successfully breastfeeding your child if you have previously breastfed.

I thought I would share an excerpt of a great article I found on Adoption.com e magazine. The full article can be found here.

"Many people do not like the idea of a woman breastfeeding her adopted child. Some feel that it is unnatural because it isn't biologically that mother's child. Others believe that if lactation has to be forced, it isn't natural and shouldn't happen. If you decide that breastfeeding your adopted child is the best choice for both you and your child, just know that you may experience some negative reactions. It will help you be emotionally prepared."


I really enjoyed a forum member's comment...
"I would agree that a few (not many) people don't like the idea. I don't however, think that anyone needs to take it into consideration is deciding whether or not to breastfeed her baby. For one thing, whether or not someone out there might disapprove is generally not a good criterion for making personal decisions. Especially when it comes to something like adoption, which most people have little or no experience with (ditto, breastfeeding), we need to be able to stand on our own two feet and not depend on the approval of others.




A new adoptive mom who wants to breastfeed has just as much right to do so as anyone, and does not need to apologize or have anyone's permission. The more confidence she can have, and project to others, the better. For some moms, suggesting that there will be many people who disapprove is likely to hamper the development of that confidence and prevent her from succeeding or even from trying. Expectations of disapproval from others can become self-fulfilled prophecies, too.


The suggestion that it might be "unnatural" really touches a nerve, with me. To those who suggest that, I would ask, "Which is more natural; for a human baby to suckle the breast of a human woman, getting at least some amount of human milk, or for a human baby to suckle a rubber or plastic nipple, getting only something that was formulated in a laboratory, based on milk that comes from a cow or a plant?" If anyone actually says that the latter is more natural, I would have to question that person's sensibilities, if you know what I mean! (That's not to criticize bottle feeding or formula, just saying that it is farther from the "natural" situation of a baby being breastfed by the same mother who gave birth to him.)


I have to say, though, that in my considerable experience, most people who are accepting of a bio mother breastfeeding accept breastfeeding by an adoptive mother, too. The biggest issue, and the only one where I think we need to consider what anyone else thinks, is about doing it in public; not whether we do it, but how we do it. We have every right to nurse our babies in any place where we have a right to be at all. We can be considerate of the comfort levels of others by learning to nurse in public without attracting undo attention to ourselves. A mom who does so has every right to expect consideration in return.


There are a few people in our lives (relatives, physicians, social workers) to whom it may be advantageous to share something about how we are able to breastfeed babies we did not give birth to. It's very satisfying when we can show others that we are raising happy, healthy, breastfed adopted babies! "

Very well said!!!

I have given this some thought and will continue to do so. However, I can't help but chuckle, thinking about the looks and comments I would receive. Breastfeeding an adopted baby might be controversial - but what about breastfeeding an adopted child that is a different race! I could just image the thoughts going through people's minds when they see me - white woman breastfeeding a black baby (or other race), sitting next to my white husband, with  2 white children running around! lol!

Friday, April 8, 2011

...And then it happened!

I received the "sign"... the "you'll know"... the "you'll have a feeling."
I have been weighing on the fence of what US agency to contract with. I was starting to consider FRC (Family Resource Centre) in Chicago. The directors were wonderful to speak with. They are always available and return emails very quickly. Something lacking from the last agency I was considering. They are also much more affordable. BUT. They have only placed 1 - ONE - UNO - baby since the Hague! The Executive director told me himself for whatever reason, they don't seem to have much luck placing in Canada. I was very concerned and hesitant to go any further because of this. Was it for lack of Canadian clients, or was it lack of the enthusiasm etc. with which the social workers represented Canadians? Perhaps, because this agency is pro open adoption (which we are)... maybe they are recommending local families?

I was told there is 4 Canadian clients. So I went on the hunt for them. I found 3 of them. The third, I met online Wednesday night. A very sweet woman and her husband who had been active clients since December. However... they weren't without their own challenges as a potential adoptive family. Just as we have a challenge that may set us back from many other applicants because we have 2 bio children. Their challenge, was they would have been considered on the older age range. So, not only do they have the "Canadian" challenge, but they are older applicants. Their profile had been shown a few times, but they had to compete with a dozen others.

Yesterday, after passing a few emails back and forth. She sent me an email that I could literally feel the vibrations from - in fact I still get goosebumps when I read it. "I do believe in miracles now..." They were not only matched! but to an infant that was already born! an infant that looks just like her husband! and papers were signed a couple hours later! No. Kidding!

To go from the helplessness of wondering if this is ever going to happen for you - to having a baby instantly. It is a miracle!... and it my sign. With less than 24 hours of meeting this woman... she received a miracle and was kind enough to share it with me!

Her experience has taught me that we absolutely have just as great of a chance at being chosen with this agency than a US client. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be! Hooray for this new family, and thank goodness I have found my "peace"!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Confessions

  • I confess I have to write a confessions post because I just don't have anything to say today.
  • I confess I only worked out on the elliptical for 30 minutes this morning, not 45
  • I confess that I have spend the entire morning on the phone with my sister instead of working.
  • I confess that I will not share my popcorn with anyone. No, not even my own children. They need to have their own bowl or bag full. Mine is sacred.
  • I confess I am secretly hoping to adopt a child with curly hair... no matter what race.
  • I confess that I didn't realize Blogger had a spell check option until just a month ago! Duh... I'd hate to go back and see all those spelling mistakes. lol.
  • I confess that my laundry is never caught up. My version of caught up is only ever a load or two left...
  • I confess that my youngest dog has been stealing the neighbours dirty diapers, bringing them to our front lawn like a prize and then ripping them to shreds all over our yard. Yuck!
  • I confess that I really want to take a summer holiday to Seattle this year. We are only 8 hours away!
  • I confess that I purchased $75 of tea online from Market Spice at the Seattle Pike Market.
  • I confess that Market Spice Tea is one of the greatest loves in my life next to my family.
  • I confess that I am wishing that Dan and I could take just one mini holiday together without kids.
  • I confess that I have a very difficult leaving my children... so it kinda makes the above hard!
  • I confess that I sometimes feel like moving just because I feel like I need a change.
  • I confess that I realize that I only ever feel this way in the winter.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

A mundane update...

- Dan saw the surgeon on Monday. Surgeon indicated that surgery should be done this week. After not hearing back them from - I called this am. Finally after a round of phone calls to them from Dan and I, they said that it is scheduled for the 18th! Pardon me?! In all the literature and confirmed by the surgeon himself - surgery needs to be done immediately. The earlier- the most successful it is.
This is taken from www.ortho.org
"If more than three or four weeks have passed since the rupture, the surgeon will usually need to make a larger incision in the front of the elbow. Also, because the tendon will have retracted further up the arm, graft tissue will be needed in order to reconnect the biceps to its original point of attachment on the radial tuberosity. "
Did we not speak loud enough the last 3 times we stressed the fact that he needs his right arm to put food (and a baby!) on the table!? Sounds like I am going to have to rage WWIII on the system... seems to be my specialty anyway. Funny enough... Dan is so worked up about it, he went as far to specifically "challenge" me to take care of it! lol. I guess he thinks I'm not one to turn down or lose a challenge.

- We continue to wait for the AEP. In the interim... I am really struggling with choosing an agency. The agency that I initially really liked and had high hopes for - is $10-20k more than the other agencies! The 2 other agencies in the running, either have a 3-6 month wait list, or have not had many successful placements in Canada. One is in Florida (vacation!?) and the other is in Chicago (pizza?). 2 very different places. If I could custom make my own agency... it would be in Florida or Louisiana, they would have no wait list, they would be affordable and successful. Ha! If life were that simple! People keep telling me that you'll know - the agency will just feel right. Pffft. Either I over analyze everything, or none of these agencies are right. I wish I had that feeling. My brain is doing the work though... I am trying not to involve my heart in this decision making process. The only really motivating factor to me is timing. Seriously, bringing home a newborn is not an option in 2 yrs. Now or never. My children are getting older and older... I really don't want too big of a gap. Sigh... it's days like these where I struggle with the "why the heck I am not just having a child?".

- It's April 6th... and it's snowing today. I sent a shout out to Mother Nature on facebook just in case she did not receive the bulletin that it is in fact spring!
Something I forgot to explain to her...
"I am purely motivated and charged by the sun... and my sunny disposition may become much sunnier if you actually come out and shine on me. I'm wilting away in the darkness of my dungeon. (My office in the basement)."



Monday, April 4, 2011

Cloth diapers - not the same as your Mama's!

I felt this needed to be given the attention it deserves.

I was shocked a couple days ago when I found out that a diaper takes 500 years to decompose! This is quoted from Environment Canada. Also shocking was the discovery that as parents, we are breaking the law and causing harm to our drinking water!

By law, you are not permitted to dispose of fecal matter in to landfills! Poop in our landfills leaches disease and virus into the earth and water sources! Gross! By law, you are supposed to scrape the poop off the diaper - into the toilet, so it can be treated at the sewage facilities! Who knew? I don't know anyone who scrapes poo off diapers! But - it all makes very good sense, and I am still unable to wrap my head around 500 years. Basically, every diaper ever made still sits in a land fill. I feel terrible about my involvement in this and resolve to do better!

This is what I discovered about modern day cloth diapers!....

Those gross wet pails that were filled with bleach water, where the diapers were left to soak are a thing of the past! They have been replaced with:


and


Remember those safety pins, that weren't always so safe?


They have been replaced with this
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And if you are not interested in playing origami with cloth like this
.
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Then you simply invest in these:
.

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Scared of scraping poo? That's what flushable diaper liners are for! Just simply empty it in the toilet!
.
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Some smart Mama has even come up with this to make rinsing easier: Hooks right up to your toilet!!
.
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The only thing left to do, it wash and dry... but you were doing laundry anyway right?
If you make the change, you will save lotsa money!
.
$2000 - $3000 in fact!
So, with all this in mind and the fact that:
With organic materials, they are easier on babies bottoms, reducing the risk for rashes.
They are environmentally friendly - the average baby produces one ton of disposable diapers for the land fill!!
.
They are so darn stylish!
Why wouldn't you want to use cloth diapers?

For this still not yet convinced... check out this video




Saturday, April 2, 2011

Ingenious baby inventions!

Back in my baby days....
these were my favorite baby inventions:

 
I don't think my children went a day without their Robeez!
They kept socks on,
and were soft and flexible - perfect for learning to walk!

The Bumbo chair!
Keeping babies upright, happy and stuck!


The Sleep Slack
Reducing risk of SIDS, and keeping babies warm!
.
but now...
they have these...
.
Tummy Tub
Soothing and replicates the comfort of the womb!


Milk-Saver
Fits discretely in your bra to catch all the milk
leaked from the side that is not being nursed from.
Saving your precious milk!

bumgenious elemental cloth diapers
The average disposable diaper takes 500 years to decompose!!!
One size, easy, comfortable, gentle, eco friendly, convenient and STYLISH!
... not to mention much more affordable!


Friday, April 1, 2011

Distal Bicep Rupture

Yes, my husband has gone and done it. Tore his big 'ol bicep fully off the tendon like this:
And now his bicep has retracted up his arm and looks like a big soft lump at the top of his arm, while the lower part of his arm (by elbow) is small and indented from where the muscle once was. It is gross. The emergency room Dr. has ordered emergency surgery for him as soon as they can fit him in. Recovery is typically a 6 week cast, followed by 12 weeks of physio.

This is a bit hard to take given the fact that he is a contractor and needs his muscles to put food on the table! He keeps telling me (being the make lemonade from lemon type of guy), that something good will come out of it. Unfortunately, this is really bad timing with the financing of the adoption... but what can you do!?

You wanna know how he did it? He was taking Muffin to gymnastics yesterday, when I remembered last minute that it was parent watch night. I have been to several of these, so I asked if he could just attend since he was already driving her. In previous "watch nights"... parents "watched", not participated! Well Dan, being the crazy, spontaneous person he is, decided it would be fun to have a challenge with Muffin and see if he could do everything she could. I think he forgot that she has been training for 4 years... and he didn't even warm up. The 360 somersault rotation on the rings is what did him in! He heard a loud pop and almost vomited from the instant pain, although he hid it well from everyone. He called me on the way home to tell me what he had done... laughing. What a guy.

Everyone keeps asking me if this an April Fools Day joke... I wish. I will see if I can get a good picture of it.
In the interim... we wait for the call for surgery. Hopefully sooner than later.