Foto Friday - 'Shoulder to Lean On'

So proud of my son and his big heart!

Purity

Pu-ri-ty  n. Freedom from sin or guilt; innocence; chastity:

This is one of our favorite little girls at the Mogra Children's Rescue Centre. Her name is Purity. She was brought in one week before we started to volunteer here.

I couldn't help but notice the open wound on her head, so I asked Hannah how she got it.

Purity and I taking a walk at the farm. You can see the wound on her head.

Hannah brought her over to show me how the gash on her head was one of several that her body was literally covered in.

Thousands of scars cover her entire body.

Here is her story as reported by The Star. (Article)

Police in Kiambu are searching for a man said to have gone underground after severely assaulting and injuring his five year-old daughter.

James Chege Gitau is said to have over a long period attered the minor for bed wetting and other minor errors, causing her grievous bodily harm.

The girl who was yesterday rescued from their house in Ruthiru-ini village, Riabai location, Kiambu district, has since been transferred to a children’s home. Her mother, Mary Nyambura, has been detained at Kiambu Police station.

The County Children’s Co-ordinator, Mwambi Mong’are, said the mother will be charged in court with child abuse and neglect along with her husband.

Mwambi described the act as heinous and inhuman and said the Government will ensure the man is charged in court. He said cases of child neglect and abuse are on the rise in the county and called for collaborative efforts in addressing the vice. He said each Kenyan should report any form of child abuse in respective areas.

The nursery school pupil narrated news reporters how his father has been beating her up on a daily basis using a belt and slapping her on the face. The minor whose face is swollen and bears marks of severe lashes in other parts of the body oozes blood from a wound in the left ear.

She said her mother did not stop her abusive father from inflicting pain on her but would often apply pain balm and wounds and swellings. Her other two siblings have not been mistreated by the father.

Riabai location chief, Francis Migunda, who rescued the minor, said he had received information from members of the public on the tribulations of the child before raiding the home. He said his officers recovered rolls of bhang and confirmed that the suspect is a former convict.

The chief said the minor’s mother confessed she could not report the incident for fear of the husband but has also been battering the helpless girl whom she said was not her husband’s biological daughter. Kiambu police station boss, Mr Felician Nafula, said a manhunt had been laynched for the suspect.

The newspaper printed a photo of her back, but the quality was not great. This is a better representation.

Have you ever seen anything so terrible?!

We fell in love with her the first day we met her, and lavished her with goodies.

Purity and Muffin have become quite good friends. She runs and jumps into Muffin's arms whenever she sees her.

The thing that amazes me most about this little girl, is her resiliency. She was literally beaten every day of her life. Severely. Yet, she is a happy, sweet, girl who, somehow, managed to keep her sparkle.

She loves to play, laugh and have fun. Scars may cover her tiny body, but her heart is large and remains intact. We love you sweet girl!

Please consider helping us raise funds to expand the baby house at Mogra to raise the quality of life for these little ones. More information here and on our facebook event page. Donations accepted by Canadian institutions via online e-transfer to mografundraiser (at) gmail.com and Paypal for the rest of the world at jolenelath (at) gmail.com. Every dollar helps, these children deserve it so much!

A cardboard house suited for a Queen.

When we moved here, we had the option of purchasing a washing machine for $250, or have someone come in 3 times a week to hand wash our clothing and do housework for $10/a day.

I know, cheap!

However, I am that person that cleans before the cleaning lady comes and I really prefer that someone does not hand wash my underwear, cause that's just weird. I also highly value the ability to wash my clothes when and how I want. We weighed the cost savings and convenience out with the fact that employing someone would be supporting a family here, but decided that we would support families in other ways, I needed this one first world convenience.

Well wouldn't you know - the darn thing broke down within weeks!

Five repair calls and five months later, the store finally agreed to give me a refund. Unfortunately this meant coming up with even more money so we could upgrade our machine to one that works (yes, basically they told me their  house name brand is crap.)... but alas, we finally have a machine that works the way it should!

LG, you are my newest friend.

And LOOK... every washing machine comes with a pro bono box of phosphate loaded detergent! :)

With this fine, fantastical machine, came...

 

a box.

 

Not just any box though.

With a few cut outs...

Some imagination...

Some paint...

And a large mess later...

Is a house suited for a Queen.

In honour of Baby Daniel with Mogra Children's Rescue Centre

I know my visits to this space are few and far between. The truth is that I have somewhat submersed myself into Kenya, it's culture and trying to get to the bottom of the orphan crisis here. I am dedicated to learn as much as I possibly can during our time here. We have made several Kenyan friends, frequently having them over for Nyoma Choma (BBQ) and enjoy our time getting to them and their culture. We talk to every driver, security guard, tradesman etc. that we meet. We ask many questions, trying to understand 'Kenya' inside and out.

Outside of the everyday Kenya... I am also trying to understand the inside of the orphan crisis. The abandonment issue here in Kenya is unique compared to other African countries. Mothers are not only simply 'abandoning' their children, they are killing them, leaving them for dead, throwing them in pit latrines, out car windows, in trash heaps, tied up in plastic bags, beating them... the horrifying list goes on and on, and it is not just a few isolated incidents.

Poverty and cultural issues are what drives Mothers to abandon their children. They can't afford to feed them, the father belongs to a different tribe, the mother is unwed and will not be accepted by another man if she has children, the baby is a product of rape or incest, and some children are actual tribal offerings to Gods/witchcraft... etc. These issues are similar in all African countries. But what drives a Mother to wish her baby harm? What can be done to change this? (More on this later...)

I started my journey by visiting orphanages... and taking trips to the off beaten trail. Visiting slums, villages, and simply just walking every trail within a 5 km radius from us.

In January, we started to volunteer at a wonderful orphanage just up the road from us, Mogra Children's Rescue Centre.

The girls play 'Cats Cradle' with a large elastic by jumping!

 Mogra is a home to over 117 children 0-19.

But Mogra is more than just a home. Hannah, who is the director of Mogra, also runs an inner slum school for over 900 children. In addition to this, she also is a self appointed guardian of the children of Mathare slum. If there is a family in need, or a child in need... she is there to help.

Hannah with baby Daniel

Hannah has taken me under wing and has embraced my willingness to learn and help. She is dedicated to revealing the heart of the orphan crisis to me from the inside out. It's one thing to go and volunteer at these orphanages, hold and feed babies. But it's a whole new ball game looking back and uncovering how it is that these children came to this place.

Hannah has taken me on 3 children rescues so far, and I have witnessed the admission of many others. I would like to write about these experiences in more depth later, but I will give you a taste of a few cases.

Our first rescue was the case of 3 children, ages 4, 2 and 10 months. The situation was reported to the area chief by concerned neighbours. The Mother left the family one month prior - for another man. The Father was unable to care for the children for whatever reasons (perhaps poverty, lack of knowledge or ambition), and the 4 year old was left to care for her younger siblings. This was their living situation, and where they slept.

Father slept on the foamy, while the children slept on the plastic sheet, with one small blanket for all 3 of them.

The youngest had lost all muscle tone and the skin literally hung from her bones, where her healthy baby fat used to occupy.

The smell of these children was absolutely horrendous. The youngest 2 were not in any diapers, so they wreaked of urine and fecal matter. Their clothes and little bodies were so filthy. Frightened and crying, we took them to the children's department to pick up the necessary paperwork and witnessed their father's last goodbyes as he was then taken into police custody. The entire scene was absolutely heartbreaking.

One of the first admissions I happen to witness, was a 18 month old girl. Turned in by a local emergency aid organization. They had told us that the child was brought to them, after being rescued from a terrible situation. The Mother had beaten the baby with a bucket until the baby fell unconscious. She stripped the baby of all clothing and doused the baby with cold water to try and revive her. She came to the home with no known name, so Hannah chose to name this precious baby after me. What an honour!

You can see the sadness in her eyes... something that every new admission comes in with. :(

The next rescue was a beautiful baby boy, abandoned at a few hours old by his Mother in a local hospital. This baby stole my heart from the second I held him. Throughout all these rescues, admissions and experiences, I had kept my emotions under lock and key. There is simply too much poverty, abuse and abandonment cases, that if you do not maintain a heart of steel, and distance yourself - you will break down and be of no service to anyone. Perhaps it was his situation that felt so close to home for me with Z's abandonment story, or perhaps his irresistible cute face, but this little man opened the iron gate guarding my heart and threw away the key. Our hearts connected, I fell in love and admittedly allowed myself to dream of being able to take him home, giving Z a Kenyan brother. I called him 'my Baby' in the home, asking them to please take care of 'My Baby' at the end of each visit. They called him Daniel - named after my husband. Baby Daniel was the picture of health and happiness, such a good baby. My Baby Daniel.

Love at first sight.

During this time, my Mother and friend came to visit us and I left town for a few days as they treated me to girls Safari trip. I really don't have the heart to rehash what happened next, so I am copying and pasting a FB status.

VERY SAD NEWS. I have just been informed that Baby Daniel (named after Daniel Thompson) has left this world for a better place. I am at a loss for words. How could this happen to such a big, healthy boy?

 I am overwhelmed with feelings of guilt. I assisted in the rescue of this beautiful boy, visited daily, and then got busy.

During my last visit, I noticed he was jaundice. As best I could, I tried to explain this to the staff and asked them to have the Doctor look in on him. I then took Daniel outside for a sunbathe. As I sat, cuddling him in my arms, stroking his eyebrows... I secretly wished there was a way that I could take him home. Knowing the impossibility of my hearts desire - I wished this little man a future of a loving family to call his own. I later walked out that door, asking the ladies to please take good care of my baby. 

 I don't know the details yet, but I am told he died of AIDS. Is this even possible? I was told he spent 7 days in the hospital and died on Tuesday morning.

 I cannot shake the feeling that my continued presence could have made a difference, and yet I am overwhelmed by feelings of helplessness. This home lovingly accepts all children, none are turned away, yet they are in dire need. They are raising 28 children under the age of 6 in a 2 bdrm suite. They need formula, diapers, medicine, more caregivers and most importantly, they need money to complete their expansion renovations.

 Good Lord, help this country and the innocent who are left to suffer.

I received the news in the evening and spent the remainder of the night bawling my eyes out. What if I had been there? Could I have helped him? Why didn't I call and check in? Did he have good medical attention... could I have provided him this? Is anyone else mourning his death? What will happen to his remains - mass, unmarked burial? etc... I was so full of questions and so full of guilt.

I went to the home the very next morning to find out what happened. As it turns out, Baby Daniel developed sores in his mouth and throat and became unable to suck a bottle. They took him to the hospital and he was diagnosed with an infection. They admitted him and treated him for the infection when it was discovered that he had HIV. Because this was unknown upon his admission to the home, he was not being treated for HIV. Because of this, his immune system was failing and he simply was unable to fight the infection. He spent 7 days in the hospital and was taken home where he passed away the next morning. He had been admitted to a great hospital, had great care and was looked after 24/7 by one of the carers from the home who also fell in love with Daniel. I was so relieved to know that there was nothing more that could have been done, and that in Daniel's last days, he was being loved, and now being mourned. The carers and I talked and cried, grieving and healing.

So, in a scattered nutshell, this is where my head has been, and this is what has been occupying my time outside of homeschooling and parenting :), in the last few months. And this is where my heart is now:

Daniel lost his Mother, and then his life in the few short weeks of his life, but I am determined for his death to not be in vain. Daniel touched my heart so deeply and I knew it must have been for a reason. These emotions now spilling out of me need an avenue of direction to make a positive impact in the lives of other babies. His life and loss has motivated me to try even harder to make a difference. In Daniel's memory, I am dedicated to making a better home for these little ones at the home and I need your help.

The current situation:

This living room, is the only living space for 28 kids. They play here, eat here and the older ones nap here.



Lunch time!

This small bathroom doubles as the shower room and laundry room for 32 people!

Babies sharing cribs.

There are 28 children ages 0-6, and 5 full time caregivers living in a 2 bedroom suite. There is one bedroom for the babies, with 5 cribs and a bed for 10 babies and 2 caregivers. The other room contains a double bed and a double decker (bunk beds) for the remaining 18 children children and caregivers. In the double bed, sleeps a carer with 7 children! The other singles sleep a carer and 3 children! 5 children sleep on a foamy mattress on the floor.

The lack of space and crowded quarters presents many problems.

1. The infants are forced to spend much of the day in their cribs, as the toddlers can easily harm them.
2. There is one small bathroom for everyone.
3. Colds and illnesses quickly spread.
4. Washing of laundry is done in the hallway.
5. The children lack stimulation toys (walkers, rockers, etc) because of lack of space.

The solution:

When the home was built, there was another unit that was planned for. The unit is roughed in with block walls, but they lacked the necessary funds to continue the project. The unit has one large open bedroom, large walk in closet, 2 bathrooms, a shower room, kitchen and large living room. They would like to move the infants to this new space. The cost of the remaining unit is as follows: $10,800 complete with furniture and appliances. We hope to be able to complete it for less, as Dan has offered to do much of the work himself - where possible.



This will be a large bedroom, large enough for many cribs!

This is the quote for completion

Dan has recently returned to Canada, and with him I sent 140 paper beaded necklaces and some hand made bags to fundraise for this expansion.

The problem:

1. I DIDNT SEND ENOUGH! Within 2 days, the bracelets were taken off my hands by friends and community members who were nice enough to help me sell them. The response back home was fantastic. Thank you all for helping!

2. I hope this little fundraiser can generate $2000 in profit. That's amazing!... but still not enough to see this project to the end.

I have had a few people ask me how they can donate. I would love to find a registered charity in Canada/US that can accept money on Mogra's behalf and issue tax receipts, but currently we cannot issue tax receipts. (If anyone knows of any such organizations, please let me know.)

How can you help?

1. Please let me pick your brains - if you have any fundraising ideas, please let me know. I would love nothing more than to get the full funding before we leave in a few months.

2. We have a Facebook fundraising event page... Please join the event and share it with your friends. Spread the word.... If we can get 1500 people to attend, we could complete this project with a small donation of $5 from each person! That's only a cup of coffee in the Western world!

I hope to try to get a paypal button up on my page where interested parties can donate. Mogra does not have a paypal account that they can actually draw from as it does not work with Kenyan bank accounts. If you are interested in donating or having your own fundraiser, please visit the FB page or contact mografundraiser (at) gmail.com. Every dollar helps!!

Thank you all for sharing my heart, I really am looking forward to bringing you more detailed accounts of my experiences in addition to introducing you to some of Mogra's cherished Angels!

RIP my sweet baby boy. Your short life has moved us to improve the only home you had, for the other babies that live there, in honour of your memory. Please know that you were loved.

PROJECT COMPLETE! Thank you all for your support!

Please see www.linkedthroughlove.com , where we are working hard to get more support for Mogra and other orphanages like it, throughout Africa.

A Blessed Kenyan Easter

 

I honestly have been working on a few blog posts, but with recent rains, it has brought us frequent power outages as well as poor internet connection. There are many things I would like to update you on, as we are very busy here in Kenya, volunteering, making new friends, learning a lot about Kenya, and of course having a great time with our new addition.
 
On that note, you may have noticed that I have hidden Z's face in the photos I post. I'm finding it so difficult to manage any posts, that those I am able to get to, I would like to have her photos archived as well. We were recently asked by our Kenyan agency to be interviewed by a reporter for a Kenyan newspaper about international adoption. They took photos, many of them, all with our agency's approval. What's more public than a national newspaper? Certainly not my blog! Ha.... So, I do not see the harm in posting her photos prior to our adoption order nor have we been instructed to not post them by our lawyer or local agency. I will (eventually!) get around to posting the photos from the past few months as well. We hope you enjoy our little beauty. :)

Easter 2013

Unfortunately, this is the first Easter that we had to spend without Dan, as he is back in Canada dealing with some family and work obligations. In his absence, we managed to have quite a full Easter!

We spent Easter Saturday at Mogra Children's Rescue Centre, sorting and cleaning  their storage room. Bags upon bags were sorted into age and gender as well as stuff useable by the orphanage, Mathare Slum, or simply garbage. All the boys were outfitted in new soccer jerseys and shorts and the girls received new undergarments. It was amazing to see how happy they were to receive a simple item... a great Easter gift for them all!

Sunday, we were invited by our good friend Francis, (who is also our taxi driver) to his son's baptism and family Easter celebration. Francis and family, please forgive me if I get any of the below details wrong.

His home is in a small village called Gachie, outside of Nairobi. The church was the nicest church we have been to here in Kenya. The music was lively with an African beat that had you tapping your toes at the very least. The Pastor was friendly and funny, frequently breaking out in laughter. I would love to find a church like this back home!

We were so delighted to share in celebration of their son's Baptism.

The service was in Kikuyo, but the Pastor greeted us in English, and later on asked us to come to the front of the church to say a few words. Having this experience before in another Kenyan church, I nominated our fellow Canadian friend Dane to have the honour. After Dane gave a beautiful little Easter message, his wife and I and the kids were asked to come to the front, answer a few questions, and then he prayed for us. Having had these experiences a few times now in rural Kenyan areas, I often feel like we are not deserving of the attention. We are really treated like royalty!

Francis and immediate family with the Pastor.

This is only a small part of the extended family.



After church, we drove down the village dirt roads to their property. We were the center of attention as we meandered the roads. Every person we passed, you could hear them say 'Mzungu' in their sentence. Mzungu means white person, but with it carries the assumption of upper class and money, and a certain level of respect is granted. This weighs on my sense of fairness or equality as we often are treated better than the average person here simply because of our skin colour. More to time needed to digest this... and perhaps a more detailed post later.

1.5 acres of land is home to the large family house owned by his parents, and 3 smaller homes bordering the edge of the property where a few of the sons call home. (Women move to their husband's family estates.)

The large family home where Francis and his 5 brothers and 2 sister were raised.

The outside of Francis's home, where one of the women prepare Chapattis for the feast.

Inside Francis's 2 room home. He had posted motivational quotes all over the wall. He's a very hard working, motivated man. ;)

When we arrived, we were introduced the remainder of the family whom had been very busy preparing dinner. Once we met all the women, we were taken to the back of the home, where the men were cooking the goat. Yes, goat! Goat is the meat of choice here and always grilled over open flame. Goats are slaughtered here for all holidays and celebrations. I never thought I would say... but I have come to really enjoy it!

There were a few exceptionally happy, friendly men.

It wasn't until I was offered a glass of their homemade wine or moonshine, that I realized why.

Our fellow Canadian friend Dane gratiously choked down a taste and said it was good... only to later pass it off. Ha. It tasted very similar to apple cider vinegar. We were assured it was 100% natural, no alcohol added. Ha...!

I had a great time with these men, joking and laughing with them. They told me that women were not allowed around the Choma (BBQ), their place was in the kitchen, preparing the rest of the dinner. I found this humorous as I sat, clearly a woman... with them. I raised the issue, but was quickly told that it was okay, as I was a guest. I then asked him what would happen if a woman did come over? He was stumped for a moment and then said, 'It would be very bad!'.... Ha. I love combating the male/female equality issue here with the men.

Fun group of guys joking around with Mister.

The soup broth. They offered me a cup, it tasted like any other meat stock.

 

 



And then I saw what was coming out of the meat stock, the feet and the head... brains boiled out.

 Ugh.

I drank goat brain.

On the grill, you can see the front legs, ribs, and four stomachs enveloped around blood and pieces of organs, called Kenyan sausage.

 

The children were ushered to the Choma for some goat meat. I was told that the children eat first, then the men will eat some, and finally the women will be given the rest to cook with. It was very good, and the plate was continuously passed around to us.

 

The kids are dipping the meat in a bowl of salt.

 The Kenyan blood/organ sausage being cut up and offered to the children.

 Mister is an adventurous eater, so he tried it. He also tried the Mutombo, which is intestines. I stay away from such fare. Goat brain was enough for one day. ;)

 We have been having some food issues with Z (another day's post), but the only issue
with her and Kenyan fare, is that she cannot get enough. Here she enjoys
eating the Kenyan Sausage.


 

Helen teaches Muffin how to work the well. All water for cooking, cleaning and bathing is hauled up by hand. (Francis's house in the background.)

She was surprised that Muffin was strong enough to do it.

Once the goat was finished, we were escorted inside the house for dinner.

 

 

It was a grand feast of stew, chapatti, Mukimo (mashed potato with spinach and maize), cabbage and rice with goat meat.

 

Z was in her glory!

The men carve the remainder of the goat.

Goat head anyone?

After dinner, we went for a walk in the village. It was a lovely evening.

It is the rainy season now in Kenya, so the roads were quite muddy.



 Muffin and Mister, were quite adored and had a captivated audience as they told stories about their lives back in Canada.

The adults were laughing, hearing the boys talk in English and watching them feel Mister's hair.

A common sight here in Kenya. Good use out of a Bicycle!

The boys in disbelief that Mister actually not only touched, but held a Chameleon and no harm came to him. (They are very afraid of Chameleons here.)

Back at the house, we sat and visited with Francis's family. They were all very nice and we really enjoyed our time with them.



Such a cutie. Two things worth noting. The baby tied on her back Kenyan style, and the winter jacket she wears. While we were quite comfortable in our short sleeves, they find it cold and bundle their babies up like we would in the middle of winter!

 

This is Francis's lovely Mother. In Kenya, it is customary to call her Mama Francis. Mama Francis told Francis that she was very happy to have Mzungus in her home. She said the last time they had 'white' visitors was many years ago. He brought out the photo to show us... it appeared to be sometime in the 70's.

 

I know they were honoured to have us in their church and their home, but the truth is, the honour was all ours. They opened their home and families to us so lovingly, from the best pieces of goat, to their customs, children, stories, etc. We felt very welcomed and look forward to future visits.

 

As our friend Dane mentioned to the church, we are blessed with friends and communities such as Francis and his family to open their hearts to us, to allow us an inside view of our children's country. (Okay Dane... not quoting your here... I know you said it more eloquently.;) 

 

And as Dan asked me to relay to Francis in his absence, 'It is because of people like Francis and his family that make us so proud to have a daughter from Kenya.'

 

Asante Sana!

 

*                                                    *                                                      *

 

And the outtakes... 'A taste of Z and her love for Kenyan food'...

 

"I spy a BIG plate of food over there... Perhaps if I slowly make my way over there, I can nab some..."
(This is Stanley, another good friend and driver.)



'He's falling for it... I'm on his lap, so close to the food now."



And she scores!

 

"Not only did I get Stanley's food, but I fooled someone else into thinking I was hungry and they got me my own plate!! Score again!"