Monday, November 19, 2012

Glass Slipper

 
Do you recognize these shoes?
The ones that have symbolized our daughter to be for over 2 yrs now (found on the right side column)?
 
I received these shoes in a random surprise package from Baby Steals.
They were the very first pair of shoes that I had gotten for our baby.
At the time, I didn't know her gender, or age, and certainly not her shoe size.
In fact, I was certain that even if we had gotten a girl, these shoes wouldn't even look at her feet for a very long time.
They were much too big.
 
 
 
As you can see, they fit her like a glove.
A coincidence?
I think not.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Meeting Zahra

I'm on African time now... sorry it has been so long. We are just getting settled in and are now hooked up to the internet, so I will try to back track and stay current from now on. ;) We have been in Kenya for 2 weeks now and I have a lot to share!

We landed in Kenya in the evening of the 23rd with our 15 pc's of luggage plus carry on.

Tracy met us at the airport bundled in Canadian flag bunting.

It was a wonderful greeting, we were so happy to finally meet her. She has been an amazing support for us here, assisting us as we get on our own two feet on Kenyan soil.

The following morning we woke up bright and early, ready for the day to meet our new family addition. We had a quick meeting at our agency office and then headed to the orphanage with another Canadian family who we were travelling with who also have a child in the same home. We decided it would be best to be introduced to the children one at a time, so we could enjoy each other meetings and assist Tracy with the photographing.

Dane and Corrie met their little guy first. He is just 14 months old. A very cute, happy little guy who seem to take it all in his stride. It was wonderful to take witness to their wonderful meeting. I would like to share with you our meeting with Z in the form of a letter to her.

Meeting You - a letter to our Joy.

We stood outside the cute, little 3 bedroom block house that you have called home for your first two years of life. Little baby outfits pinned up on the line drying in the hot African sun, beyond that a large pile of dirty diapers were collected, while a little playground built from wood sat in the forefront.



I started to get choked up and felt a few tears roll down my face when I realized that the moment was upon us and I would soon be seeing your beautiful little face. As you rounded the corner of the doorway, carried by your Carer, I knew I had to choke those tears back and be strong for you because you were so frightened.

I felt so sad for you, you were so scared and confused. I wanted to take you into my arms and comfort you. I wanted to reassure you that you would never feel this scared and unsure again in your life, but I knew that it was my very presence that was making you feel this way. I reached out and took your hand, softly speaking your name. Your eyes glazed over as you stared off into space, internalizing your fear. The Carers felt bad, they tried to bring your out of it. I could tell that they were worried that I would I would feel bad, or perhaps that I wouldn't see you for the bright happy girl you are. 'She's just shy', they said as they tried to hand you over to me. You instantly shrugged away. 'It's okay', I said... 'let's just take it slow.'

I pulled out the bubbles hoping that they would catch your attention. Sadly, it seemed to heighten your fear as I don't think you had ever seen them before.

I handed you a toy train and you refused to take it. I was not worried. Your
attachment to your Carers and your strong will only reassured me that even though this may take awhile, we would be inseparable once it did happen. I think you and I are a lot alike, and I can appreciate your strong will. Things happen on your terms, and only when your 100% sure... I totally get it!

Your Carer took the train and handed it to you. You started to flick your finger over the wheels, making them spin over and over again. This fidget toy seemed to help you some.

The staff decided it would be best to go inside. The Carer sat you down on the couch, and I sat next to you. You moved as far from me as you could while continuing to spin the toy train wheels.

I pulled out stickers and started to stick them on the other children, hoping you were watching and taking note of the fun they were having with them. After a few moments, I reached over and stuck one on the back of your hand. Your reaction was like being stung by bee, so I continued to just focus on the other children, allowing you to become more comfortable with the situation.

Some time had passed and you still were not showing any signs of giving in. I started to wrack my brain for more ideas. Then I remembered my iphone. I had downloaded a few apps for toddlers the week prior. I pulled it out and turned it on to animals and animal sounds. You turned your cheek, but I knew you were listening. I tapped the Bee to initiate the buzzing sound as I buzzed with my fingers and playfully tickled the necks of the other children. We moved on to the dog, cat, lion and so on... You started to steal little glances as your interest piqued.

Then a miracle happened.

The 3 yr olds came in from school. Your eyes lit up, and your whole demeanor changed. You were so happy to see them. They came rushing over to see what this wonderful little toy I had in my hand was, when you scooched your little bottom over as close as you could get to me, laying your hand over me - proclaiming that I and the iPhone belonged to you and no one else. Human nature, orphanage competition, and Steve Jobs may have brought us together in that moment... but it didn't matter to me, my heart melted in that touch and I knew you and I were going to be just fine.



Day 2 tomorrow...(if internet permits)


Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Confessions - My 'lines' have been crossed.

It's crunch time... so I literally have to write this in under 5 mins.

My hubby has been slaving at work to get things done. The other night he worked until 2am, then back up at 6am. That leaves me to manage every.thing. else. I think I may be over my head here. I am honestly not sure if I will get everything done on time. One way or another it will get done though, even if it's not done the way I want.

So with things in overdrive, our lives are in complete disarray...

The proof? Oh let me count the ways...

I used 3 ziploc bags in each of the kids' lunches today, and didn't care.

I have thrown paper and cardboard in the garbage because it was closer than the recycling bin. Add to that tin cans and plastic bags.

I am encouraging the use of plastic cups, cutlery and plates.

I have used cleaners that I uncovered from the bosom of our sink cabinet - full of who knows what toxins. That includes a magic eraser that just about took my skin off - note* - wear gloves!

I have purchased fabric softener and used it to leave our towels and bedding soft and smelling lovely. I also purchased Downy Unstoppables which I am in love with and don't even want to think of all the chemicals in them. I will live in ignorant bliss for another 10 loads or so... (I also use them as room fresheners as well).

I have missed breakfast and lunch on most days. (But increased the coffee intake.)

That coffee now consists of instant coffee as I have packed the kitchen away.

I let my son eat pumpkin pie for super last night. (It's squash at least right?)

Tonight's dinner was Sunny Boy porridge and toast.

I'm considering a 7 day fast or shake cleanse to save time not having to worry, but then realize that I still have to feed our children - so I consider frozen food, and if I had one - I would surely consider the microwaveable variety! (Do you hear me Tracy?! You know it's bad when!....)

Sorry earth... and my dear children who may be skipping a couple food groups these days. I promise to resume my responsibilities to you once I can find my way out of this maze of boxes and into the arms of Kenya! 11 days until we board that plane!








Friday, October 5, 2012

Counting our blessings..

Every child is a blessing. But with this particular referral we have so much to be thankful for. Wanna know more details about Z?

She is 27 lbs. According to this growth chart, she is in the 50th percentile. This means she's completely average... which is an amazing thing for a little girl in an orphanage in Africa! This eases our mind to know that our little girl has been well cared for... giving her such a great start.

She has spent 96% of her life in this one home. It's a relief to know that she didn't spend too much time in a hospital or at other homes, being moved place to place.

Her social history is a best case scenario. While abandonment is never an easy pill to swallow, I have dreaded the thought of having to explain a worse case scenario to my daughter. Infants left in latrines. So sad, and I am so relieved that I don't have to explain that one. While we will never know why she was abandoned, we do have reason to believe that she was loved... and we do have some pieces of information that may bring her comfort later on. An abandonment with ill intention, abuse or perhaps simply having no information at all... were my worst fears.

Her name. I'll be honest with you... I am not a big fan of 'older' Americanized names, or many common biblical names (most likely because they are 'old'... lol) - which is the majority of names of children in Kenyan Orphanages. I'm not going to start listing names that I wished she didn't have, as I'm likely to stick my foot in mouth... so I will tell you that I had always said that I hope her name is 'Faith', 'Hope', 'Imani' or something else, that I can't say without giving away her name (obviously!). So when I heard her name... I had tingles run up and down my body. What are the chances?

Her big beautiful eyes. We have originally requested 2 children because we wanted them to have someone in the family they could identify with. This went out the window when we were only approved for 1 child. Knowing there is so much about her that will be different from us, Muffin and I wished that she could at least share our big eyes, so we had a physical feature that all of us girls shared.

It is Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada... and wow, do I have a lot to be thankful for!

We have a travel date now, flying out on the 21st and landing in Kenya on the 23rd. We will be leaving our home on the 19th to get to Calgary. A lot of miles to cover in those few days, and a lot of things to do before now and then.

I will leave you all with a perfect little smile. (Look at those little chiclet teeth!!)



Wednesday, October 3, 2012

That moment...

That moment,
when I have my baby girl snugged in tight against my chest.
Our hearts entwined...
Her head nestled under my chin.
Soft breaths of peace slowly rising from her chest.
I glance down slightly to kiss her sweet little head.
 
Close my eyes
take a deep breath...
breathing in all her sweetness,
 thanking God for this most precious gift.
 
THAT is the moment
I cannot wait for.


 

Monday, October 1, 2012

It is with great JOY that we announce to you our REFERRAL!!

I will just get right to the photos, because I know that is what you are after!

First peek... 
I love this... the wonder in Mister's little face...thinking she is so cute
Muffin is about to jump through the screen and squeeze her she is so excited


 Awwww.... Mister wouldn't stop putting his hands all over his face, what a new emotion for him. 
The wonder in Muffin's face... 


Daddy's little Princess!


Mommy's Joy!


I wish I could show you a photo of her. I have been looking into this... some people show photos of their referral, some don't. Some have to sign documents stating they won't. It seems to vary country to country, agency to agency. There are no concrete rules, and we have not been given any instructions. However, just to play it safe, we are going to withhold from sharing with you until she is in our arms at least. It's killing me to do it too! But I can offer you some information.... 

She is 2 yrs old

She is beautiful (of course!)

She has yummy medium brown skin

She has kissable full lips

She is a LEO (Can you believe it!? I'm a Leo.. and love Leo's ;)

She is fiercely independent and decides who will hold her or not. (Hmmm strong willed Leo... never!)

Last but not least... one thing I wished for, was some big, beautiful eyes...

and I think you can agree, we got it! :)