Feathers and Camouflage

First Court Date - Kenya Adoption

We had our first court date on the 22nd of February. (Yes, I certainly am behind in my posts!)  Family court is held on Fridays here in Nairobi.

We dressed up in our finest professional outfits, not sure what to expect, only told to dress 'official'. Jackets that made sweat drip down our back and shoes not made for comfort.

We went through security, left our passports at the entrance and carried on upstairs. Thankfully, some other 'experienced' adopting parents were able to recognize the confusion on our faces and directed us to the proper place to wait.

We were listed as one of the first cases to be seen. Traffic is a nightmare downtown in the mornings, so we allowed 2 hours to get there. Luckily, we arrived with half an hour to spare. Z, started to play with some of the other children there... and of course as Murphy's law dictates that she would choose this time to become possessive over a toy that did not belong to her and hence start a big crying session right when we were introduced the lady who heads our Kenyan agency. I am almost certain that she is able to recognize my weakest moments of not being in a position to discipline, as she never behaves this way. However, not one to give into public tantrums,  I apologized and we took a 'time in' on a far away bench.

During this time of trying to reason (pleading) with her to stop crying... I was closely watching my watch. Court was about to be in session and our Guardian Ad Litem had not yet arrived. The whole purpose of the first court visit is to legally have the child's guardian appointed. Her presence is mandatory.

As time ticked on and court started, I asked our lawyer if we should call her. 'It will be okay', he said. 'Calling her will not change her location, she will not arrive any faster.' Hakuna Matata I guess! I was almost starting to feel like I was going to lose my breakfast, thinking of what her absence could cause in timing of our adoption process. 9:25... Thompson's were called. No Guardian. Our time slot had to be passed on to the next family. My heart sank. Ugh. I had heard horror stories of this happening, and the process was that you had to wait for a new court date.

9:38 and she finally arrives. 38 minutes after court went into session. I don't know how or what our lawyer had to do to get us put back in the cue, but he managed it. Very quickly, we were ushered by our lawyer into court, and seated on the second bench with our guardian and social worker.

The judge spoke and was so quietly spoken, I honestly never heard a word! I do know, the lawyer announced our presence, in addition to the social worker and the guardian. The judge then called our guardian to stand and asked her if she had ever done this job before. Her answer was yes.

 'So you know what is expected of you then?'

She replied with a yes, and then just as quickly we were ushered in, we were ushered out. The entire procedure perhaps took 3 minutes, and quite frankly, I am still confused as to the necessity of the adopted families presence or the necessity for this to even require court time... when they are so bogged down as is. Perhaps this is a step that can be simplified in the future, but for now, it is what it is.

Before we can get our second court date, we need to have an interview with the Children's Dept in addition to having a home assessment done. After this, they will submit a report. Once this is done, we can request a second date.

Courts are closed for Easter for a month from March 15th - April 12th, so we fear backlog in the system, especially with the delays and closures already caused by elections. Fingers crossed please!

Z looks into the Milimani Court estate.

Sibling Love

March 4th, 2013 Kenya Election

The day has come and gone, and we all sit tight waiting for the results.

This is a great article that not only gives a current update but some background and history of the last elections that resulted in extreme violence, resulting in the death of over 1000 people. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-21665108

Photo: Julius Mwelu/IRIN

Millions turned out yesterday to battle the voting lines. We have friends who went to the polling stations before 6am and had to wait up to 10 hrs! Lines over a km long. I can't imagine having to stand that long in the hot sun, no food or water. Talk about dedication!



Masai wait to vote Monday during presidential and parliamentary elections outside a polling station near the town of Magadi, 85 kilometres south of Nairobi.
(GORAN TOMASEVIC/REUTERS)

Despite a close watch, and a system developed to ensure an election without corruption, we have heard of some 'funny' things happening at the polling stations. People being told their names are not on the on the voter list if their name is not obviously Kikuyo (supporters of Kinyatta). Others are being given multiple ballots.

The radio reports of a very quiet downtown core... People quietly waiting in anticipation. The people of Kenya desperately seek change, but in peace. They have businesses to run and families to support.

Currently Uhuru Kenyatta holds the lead, but if he doesn't win at least 51% of the votes, there will be a run off in April. This is when they expect their to be violence, if any.

We have stocked up on water and groceries should we need to stay in our compound due to any violence or shortages in the supermarkets. However, we feel very secure in our neighborhood and are not concerned. We also have great connections with our local Kenyan Mom and Pop shops. Fruit stands, Milk bars etc, that will deliver to us if necessary. 

Stores were crazy on Saturday when we did our 'stock up' shopping. Fresh milk was already sold out, the bread shelves were bare and it was a race to get a few of the last packages of Ichiban! (Mr Noodles)

With no relevance whatsoever, here is a photo of a cute Zahra enjoying her bath. :)

 

The Kenyan Adoption Process - In Country (thus far)

A quick recap... and catch you up to speed. ;)

We arrived here in Kenya on the 23rd of October. We first met our daughter the very next day after a brief meeting with our in country agency.

All transportation to the agency and the orphanage was provided by us. (I give these slight details, because they may be important details to any of you with the same agency.) Every agency is different. LAN for example seems to provide a great deal of transportation - to and from the orphanage, court dates, children dept meetings... etc. They even escort you and pay for resident cards etc.

We met with Zahra for 6 days before we took her home. Back in Canada, we are told that the bonding period is 2 weeks. This is not so. The bonding period is actually determined by the orphanage. Our orphanage had a rule of 5 days, some are 3 days, others 1 week and I have even seen 1 day! None I know of have a policy of 2 weeks. Actually, 2 weeks is really not recommendable for anyone as far as I am concerned. I was fully prepared to wait longer with Zahra, as she did not warm up as quickly as most children... but she was so ready to go by day 5, and any longer would have been too hard for all of us.

Once home for one month, you are visited by your in country agency's social worker and you should be scheduled to meet with your lawyer for the first time. Also at this one month period, we were visited by Z's orphanage director. They will visit on a regular basis, or will have you visit them (not necessarily recommended for the children's sake) according to the policies that they set up. Some request biweekly, but most are monthly.

By the end of month 2, you will once again be visited by your agencies social worker, orphanage director (in our case) and you will be introduced and visited by your guardian ad litem. This person is referred to you by the in country agency. They will meet with you at least once (typically twice) before your first court date.

Month 3 you will have your final social worker visit to complete your foster period, possibly a orphanage director visit and another guardian ad litem visit. You will visit your lawyer again to sign documents and file for a court date.

The first court date is solely to be appointed a Guardian Ad Litem. This person is appointed to represent the child. This person has to have met you previously - hence the previous visits. After this court date, you are given an appointment with the children's department where you will have to essentially complete another homestudy. This meeting takes place at the department and children are not allowed to attend. After this appointment, a home visit is arranged and they will then follow through with a report that is required for court date #2. Court date #2 is typically one month following the first court date.

There are currently 2 judges, and the adoption cases are only seen on Fridays. There is rumors that one judge can and will pass judgement on the second hearing... but once again - this is just a rumor. (But one can hope!!) Typically, the adoption is not completed until the 3 court date - 2 months after the first.

This year, the courts are closing from March 15 - April 15 for the elections. This is terrible for our timing. We filed on the 28th, hoping for a court date of Feb 8th or 15th (there by putting us inline for our second prior to the closure), but luck was not with us and our court date given was the 22nd. This means that our second court date will not be until the end April - putting our estimated time of arrival in Canada, around the end of June.

We absolutely love our time her in Kenya, familiarizing ourselves with our daughter's country and culture, but it is a large financial strain. Most recently, it has come to our attention that there could be a potential 'issue' with our visas. We are all here on a 6 month visitor visa. We were told prior to leaving that our visa would 'simply' be extended 3 months at the end of our 6 month term, but recent information indicates that visas are not 'simply' extended. We are told that our visas can be extended on a monthly basis for 'exceptions' only for the price of $180 per person - which means $720 a month for us starting the end of April. Cha - ching. We are hoping there is a logical way around this, as we absolutely can not afford this. Our original visas were just over $400 for the family for 6 months. (If anyone has any information on this otherwise - please email me.) Unfortunately, things are not always straightforward here, and there have been no Canadian families to reach this point yet - so we are all in the dark at this point. The embassy doesn't seem to be giving any straight forward answers either - so we wait, and by now we are most certainly experts at waiting.

Waiting in the warm Kenyan sun, with our beautiful daughter in our arms is not hard either. :)

Kenyan toy store. (expensive!)
 

Mini put!
 

Huruma: The World Next Door. Part II

As continued from Part I, following our tour of the Missionaries of Charity, we took a tour of the Huruma slum. We were told it is Nairobi's second largest slum, next to Kibera. George Hussein Onyango Obama, Barack Obama's half-brother actually resides in Huruma.

Much of Huruma consists of tin/rubbish houses that have no electricity, running water or sewer connections. One thing that sets this slum apart from others is the many high rise apartment buildings.





Notice all the antennas?

In 2010, an innovative slum upgrading project was completed, providing improved block wall houses to over 200 homes. All with running water, sewage, electricity and drainage. Including renovated toilet blocks. In the old part, there is one toilet per 1000 people! I was unable to actually get some statistics on the population... but it must be a fair amount. Not that a 'fair amount' is an actual quantitative amount... ;)

We started the tour with a visit to one of our driver's homes. They recently just had a baby, and he was happy for us to meet their new family member. The house was part wood, cardboard, tin and just plain scrap. The ceiling appeared to be made of burlap sacs sewn together. This was the only room we saw that appeared somewhat 'homey'.

 

The hallways were pitch black (no electricity) with a dirt floor and  chickens roaming in and out.



One hallway, I had to lighten the picture, as it was pretty dark with only the light from the outdoors streaming in.




The door to the home. Our driver's lovely wife and daughter. You can see the first part of the home inside is constructed of cardboard.
What you cannot see in this photo, is the trench running along in front of the houses... that acts as the sewage system for the old part of the slum. Yep... an assault to the sense of smell. You cross over the sewage ditch by way of small bridges constructed of scrap wood.



I think Coca Cola owns Africa... it's everywhere and cheaper than drinking water.
Children in the slums or rural areas don't see Mzungus (white people/foreigners) often. They are always very interested in us.

This is a typical shop that you would see in slums, markets etc.



Kenya is quite a 'filthy' country. Even in the nicer downtown core, people just litter everywhere. It is the 'norm'. When there is any type of garbage collection or dumping station - it is just all burned. Plastic, rubber, toxins - they don't care. The smell that will always remind me of Kenya is that of burning garbage. Not pleasant - but simply a fact.

Washing laundry. I would like to hope that they are not using the dirty stream for water, but why else would they be washing here? Unfortunately, it also means that the toxic laundry detergent they use is also going down the stream.

Children running after our car yelling in unison, 'How are you?'... in the cutest African accent.

One of the largest struggles in the slums, is lack of space for children to play. They have nowhere to go but the streets. In the upgraded part here, the streets are paved and a bit wider.

Girls playing with bottle caps. Incidentally, our children have been collecting and playing with bottle caps as well. ;)

A woman selling dried anchovies.

Poor doggy. :(

Songs to lone.

I'm pretty certain there is no refrigeration in the Mwenda Butcher Shop!
 

Happy kids playing in the upgraded part of the slum.

Chicken feet anyone? Once again, no refrigeration - but they all manage to survive. lol.

Bustling side street.

This woman is likely carrying material to build a house or shop.

We took the tour driving through the slum, but I wouldn't have hesitated to walk through it. People are quite friendly and happy to have you there, hoping you will support their businesses.

The average income for a person living in the slum is $1 a day, so it's quite easy to make someones day. Yesterday, I purchased 2 flowered headbands from a disabled woman on the street downtown. I asked her how much and I know I caught her off guard when she looked up and saw my white skin. She took a second to reply... I'm sure contemplating how much of an increase she should apply. 50 shillings she said. (.60 cents). Deal - I purchased 2, and walked away happy seeing the smile on her face.

 



One thing that has stayed with me after visiting some of the poorest areas, as we have seen in many other countries... is the observation that those with the least are the most content. Proud of the little that they do have and just simply grateful for life. There is certainly a lesson to be learned here. 

The world next door. Part I

I realize I really need to start posting about our every day life here. We now consider it 'just life'... but it really should be documented because it is so far from what our 'norm' is, right down to the smallest of details.

Yesterday, we took a visit to a beautiful orphanage and the slum it resides in.

The slum is Huruma. We were told it is Nairobi's second largest slum, next to Kibera. George Hussein Onyango Obama, Barack Obama's half-brother actually resides in Huruma.

Much of Huruma consists of tin/rubbish houses that have no electricity, running water or sewer connections. In 2010, an innovative slum upgrading project was completed, providing improved block wall houses to over 200 homes. All with running water, sewage, electricity and drainage. Including renovated toilet blocks. In the old part, there is one toilet per 1000 people! Can you imagine what that would be like? I certainly do not want to!

Our drive in to the orphanage gave us an introduction to the slum. Right outside the gates of this little oasis, otherwise known as Missionaries of Charity, we saw the following.

To the right of the gate.

To the left of the gate - women waiting for any type of handouts from the other side of the gate.

Once inside, we discovered beautiful rose gardens, play areas, grass, school rooms, sleeping quarters, rehabilitation areas, and work areas.

Nuns run this orphanage. The lovely young nun who gave us our tour was Canadian and so very sweet.

The first thing I noted was how well dressed the children were. There were triplets there and they were dressed identical! The clothes were clean, fit well and were gender appropriate.

The youngest school class.

From the school area, we went to visit the baby area.

Very clean. All the bedding was exactly the same and the cribs were adorned with clean, good condition toys. You can see the walkers in the back ground. They did not have any jolly jumpers though, so I donated one of the ones we had recieved for a donation. They were very happy to recieve it. Thank you to the donors!

Every child had a Miraculous Medallion tied around their wrist.

From there we were shown the newborn room.

All babies were snuggly sound asleep and content. :)

Newborn twins... so tiny!!

From there, we were taken to the area where they house women who are mentally challenged or have severe disabilities. Some were conditions from birth, while others were from substance abuse. (long term glue huffing.) Understandably, this area was full and they did not have any more room to accept any more women.

Behind this area, Sister told us is where they keep fatally ill women. AIDS, TB etc. We did not see this area, as I assume it is a bit overwhelming.

After this, we were taken to another building that is home to children with severe disabilities. This was the hard part.

This photo is of the least challenged children. It shows the level of care that these children receive. 

This sweet little girl was the youngest in this ward. Very engaging and happy. She kept saying 'HI!' to us. I assume she has a minor case of holoprosencephaly, but that is mearly a guess.

Beyond this room was a room with a very large bed surrounded by rails. In this bed, were a handful of children who were essentially bed ridden with severe disabilities. I will quote what Muffin recalled in an email to a friend.

"A few days ago we went to an orphanage and we went and saw some cute, tiny babies. After that we went to go see the children in need and with disabilities and

when we first walked in there was a bed with a bunch of children on it but there was one girl named Jaklon who was 16 and she had serious things that she was born with. Her legs were twisted,she had a huge head,twisted arms and fingers.There were also lot of other kids being fed because they could not feed themselves. It was very sad."

This was very eye opening for the children. I don't think it is likely that they have ever seen anything like this even in a photo. Their eyes were as big as saucers, and they instantly clung to us in shock and sadness.

On the outside of the door of this ward, was a beautifully decorated frame casing the photos of all the children and a description of their personalities, likes and dislikes. A little reminder of how loved and well taken care of these once discarded children are. 

I cannot say enough about this orphanage. The children are loved and are raised in a way where they are able to maintain their dignity. How refreshing to see children raised in a home where toys were well looked after, clothing was in good shape, and not once did I smell urine soaked mattresses, blankets etc... or any other unwelcoming odors that are quite common in many of the orphanages we have visited thus far.

However, as Sister said when I was commending her on such a well run facility, 'We do what we can for them. We can give them clean clothing, bedding and a few possessions. It is the least we can do for them when they have lost everything. However, we will never be able to give them enough love.'

Children don't belong in orphanages. They belong in families. 

Bless those who are commited to doing their best for the children who have lost theirs.  

 Moving on... Huruma Slum to be continued....