tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5432474434919393835.post6765589303308118666..comments2023-06-26T03:37:53.410-07:00Comments on The Thompson Treehouse: The truth of our attachment, biological vs. adopted.Jolenehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08964962001513033188noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5432474434919393835.post-87325104840462723322013-10-09T20:06:58.120-07:002013-10-09T20:06:58.120-07:00Great article! You gave me a few things to think a...Great article! You gave me a few things to think about. I also remember desperately wanting her smell to not be orphanage smell, but "our" smell. <br /><br />I didn't ever consider changing our daughter's first name as I didn't find it to be too strange for our society (some children's names make them stand out even more as they don't "fit", and in my opinion that is a great time to change the name). But in some ways I wish we had... I think it's just an individual choice and there isn't really a right or wrong. But I am having such a difficult time choosing her middle name that I haven't legally even done her name change yet! <br /><br />I'm so glad that she trained you early on and did all the attachment stuff right - what a gift! Our transition wasn't nearly that smooth.. and it is taking much longer to feel the attachment I had hoped to feel by now... there is still room to grow, but it is coming. I wish I had alone time with G as you do with Z. That would be really helpful. <br />Denisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13334449755813716646noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5432474434919393835.post-56165657180693847072013-10-09T19:43:33.920-07:002013-10-09T19:43:33.920-07:00Thank you for sharing your heart with honesty, vul...Thank you for sharing your heart with honesty, vulnerability and hope! As the mother of two bio kids and two adopted, the journey with each has been so different. I expected the second adoption attachment process to be similar to the first, but found both to be vastly unique! I think as different as two people are, so also every attachment between two people will be different. I hope that your heartfelt account will ease the guilt that so often plagues adoptive parents and help parents embrace hope as we face uncharted waters. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5432474434919393835.post-23660617815086807562013-10-09T08:49:37.176-07:002013-10-09T08:49:37.176-07:00There seems to be a strong correlation with the na...There seems to be a strong correlation with the name changes. Fascinating! <br /><br />Candice, I would most definitely say that we were also 'Love at first sight'! It was extremely difficult to leave her every day during the bonding period in the orphanage, and all I thought about was her, and would wake up in the night to look at her, etc... This is a very important part of the process. I think if you don't have that, the attachment process would be considerably more difficult! <br /><br />You and Z are obviously doing great! The love you have for one another shines through on your blog! xoJolenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08964962001513033188noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5432474434919393835.post-68795885374736307542013-10-09T07:03:03.516-07:002013-10-09T07:03:03.516-07:00This is such a great post! Thank you so much for s...This is such a great post! Thank you so much for sharing and giving us a real insight into this. I've always said I want my family to include both biological and adopted children. I don't know which will come first but I can totally understand why it works out well to have the bio children first. <br /><br />You really are an inspiration to me! Gypsy Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13026496787029080243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5432474434919393835.post-10633188216217690332013-10-09T00:11:10.792-07:002013-10-09T00:11:10.792-07:00Looks like you're doing a great job mama. Way ...Looks like you're doing a great job mama. Way to go!! Thanks for being so honest. I've only had my little Z, no bio babies to compare our attachment, but in all honesty we were kind of 'love at first sight' and it just keeps growing. <br />(and I totally agree with you on the smell thing... I bathed Zenya that first night back in the hotel just because she smelled so strange and foreign. Now the smell of her is so familiar to me and such a beautiful thing. )Candicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08256176302373457873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5432474434919393835.post-43213153479371392742013-10-08T23:21:40.756-07:002013-10-08T23:21:40.756-07:00Wanted to add that as you know, we also kept our s...Wanted to add that as you know, we also kept our sons original name as a middle name and used it for a long time, or until he dropped it himself about 3 months in. We kept using it together with the name we gave him for a while, but then stopped as he never used it himself. He is at a stage now where he tells people his full name, but he always leaves out the middle name. I "corrected" him a few times to see his reactions but he did not react at all and did not add the middle name next time he said his name. I initially had reservations about changing his name but it was the right thing to do for us and luckily, he agrees. I love hearing how it was for your family. Björk.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5432474434919393835.post-43393179044947823132013-10-08T23:14:05.351-07:002013-10-08T23:14:05.351-07:00Wonderful post. Thank you!
Björk.Wonderful post. Thank you! <br />Björk.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5432474434919393835.post-3237803801556533622013-10-08T20:10:00.125-07:002013-10-08T20:10:00.125-07:00Great article Jolene. You are doing an amazing job...Great article Jolene. You are doing an amazing job navigating Motherhood with Zahra, your interaction is so natural for both of you I sometimes forget she didn't come from your womb. You are an inspiration to all parents! Thank you for taking the time to share your experience.Eileenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07802440907282426924noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5432474434919393835.post-37363553106399589212013-10-08T18:27:08.163-07:002013-10-08T18:27:08.163-07:00I needed to read this tonight. Thank you for shari...I needed to read this tonight. Thank you for sharing, thank you for your honesty. I can relate to much of it...we're just a few months in. We also changed our daughter's name and struggled with that and came to the same conclusions as you and have a similar experience as she talks about herself before us. I'm going to read and reread this post a few more times...needed this just now. Thank you!Hannah & Ryanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16867155257427445067noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5432474434919393835.post-15448310399135518142013-10-08T16:05:15.732-07:002013-10-08T16:05:15.732-07:00What a great article! We have one Bio and one Adop...What a great article! We have one Bio and one Adopted, and you really helped me understand some of my own feelings on attachment. I loved your explanation about why it was important for you to change Zahra's name, I know this is a heated topic in the adoption world, but your reasoning makes so much sense.<br />Thanks Jo for being vulnerable, and sharing your feelings and experiences! Jacquiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02821612283429530588noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5432474434919393835.post-20509295588046123212013-10-08T14:24:17.136-07:002013-10-08T14:24:17.136-07:00As an adopted child myself that was a wonderful an...As an adopted child myself that was a wonderful and eye opening article! thank you so muchJen Shttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12411362213169136336noreply@blogger.com